


Painkiller

by TerribleArrow



Category: Daredevil (TV)
Genre: Fucked Up Characters In Love, M/M, PWP, Rough Sex, non-con elements
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-04
Updated: 2017-12-04
Packaged: 2019-02-10 14:08:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12913509
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TerribleArrow/pseuds/TerribleArrow
Summary: Frank comes to Matt's apartment because he wanted to talk. They both find themselves unable to express all their complicated feelings with words so they fuck instead.





	Painkiller

**Author's Note:**

> Warning for non-con elements, because at first Matt is unsure and tells Frank to stop, but he gets fully on board very soon.  
> Takes place sometime after Daredevil Season 2.  
> I spent a lot of time looking at the Daredevil costume and didn't figure out how it works. So my take on it is absolutely fictional.

Matt was pacing around his living room in full Daredevil suit frustrated and angry. The rush he’d gone out with tonight didn’t go away, it accumulated and burned him from the inside like poison. He had a good chance of finding out who stood behind a gun trafficking from Bronx, but as it turned out the guys were in business with the Kitchen Irish and Frank Castle got there first.

Daredevil got to the place in time to hear a click of a gun and cut-off screams and in another moment the stench of blood and gunpowder filled the air. He knew that calibrated method of shooting all too well, recognized the sound of the heavy boots. He tried to stop Frank, got to him in one of the rooms, knocked off his aim, knocked out a couple of gangsters. If they had stood down they could have stayed alive, he thought. Then Frank hit him with the back of his gun and finished them off. Then everything was blurred and buzzing with gunshots bouncing off the solid walls, disorienting, and so he got out. He got to the roof of the closest building and tried to listen to what was going on around him. Gunshots died out, he heard several scared people in the neighbourhood and a distant sound of police sirens.

When Matt got back home, he felt disgusted with himself. He got out of there and let Frank finish his job! No way he could wash it off. He wanted to scream and punch something. He settled on kicking a coffee table sending it flying upside down. It didn’t help much.

He was going to take his mask off when he heard a squeak of a window and a soft thud from above. The endless circle of guilt made him so unfocused that hadn’t even been watching his back. Someone was there. Matt pulled out his billy club and turned to face the intruder. He recognised the heavy boots and the smell of blood and gunpowder.

“I’m not here to fight you,” came the calm voice of Frank Castle.

He was coming down the stairs holding his hands at his sides half-raised.

“How did you get here?” Matt asked through his teeth.

Frank reached the end of the stairs and stopped. “I saw you outside on the roof. I followed,” he said simply.

“Why?” Matt stayed in place clenching his fists.

“Yeah, why…” Frank sighed. He pulled out his gun very slowly and put it on the floor beside him. “I think we should talk.”

Frank was calm, but his blood was rushing through his veins on adrenalin. Too little time had passed since the shooting. His killing never gave him any satisfaction, Matt knew that. He was all wound up and tense but his bearings weren’t giving any signals of a desire to fight. Matt put the billy club away and made an inviting gesture with his hand. Frank took a few steps forward.

“Look, you shouldn’t have come there tonight. I think you know by now that I won’t stop until every single one of them is dead.”

“I figured,” Matt said feeling another burst of anger wringing his insides. “I went there, Frank, to find out more about these gun lords, to stop the cause, not to bust one deal!”

Frank was silent for a moment. “Well, there’s no lack of that in Hell’s Kitchen. I’m sure you will figure it out next time. These ones I wanted dead.”

With these words Frank’s shoulders relaxed a little, his breathing became deeper. The simplicity of truth seemed to give him a fraction of relief he was longing for.

“Look, you seem to have some kind of code of honour,” Frank said. “I respect that. I’ll stay out of your way if you stay out of mine.”

“It’s not about splitting territories, Frank. What you’re doing is wrong!”

“Oh, do you want to go through this again, Red? You’re not going to convince me just because you believe there’s good in people. Do you even believe that yourself?”

Matt winced. A few days ago he knew the answer.

“And those ninjas rampaging around the city a while ago – do you think they also believed that?” Frank continued. “When I shot those fuckheads on the roof you didn’t seem to mind. In fact I remember you going for the last guy with the same blood thirst…”

“Because I wanted him _dead_!” Matt interrupted.

Contrary to Frank, letting out the truth boiling up inside him didn’t give Matt any relief. It left him aching, hollow, feeling guilty and waiting for the blow that would crush him.

“It doesn’t make it right,” he added quietly.

Frank was silent for a while. He wasn’t moving much. It seemed he was looking at Matt, not doing anything. And Matt wanted him to do something. Laugh at him. Get that gun and shoot him like a wounded animal. Say “You are like me now. You will never find peace.” Just not go away without saying another word. Because Matt needed to get it out and funny enough the man in front of him was the only one who would understand.

Frank drew in a breath to speak.

“You know what, Red… Maybe… Maybe I envy you. In a way, you know… You have some hope for mankind. You seem to have a life here,” he made a vague gesture with his hand, “people you care about. Don’t ruin it for yourself. You might end up dragging them into this mess with you.”

It was Matt’s turn to be silent. Then he uttered “Well, there’s no one to drag anymore.”

The words fell between them like pebbles off a cliff: making small noises, then bigger noises, then getting quiet again. Matt didn’t know what else to say. He found himself feeling strange like he wanted to leave his own apartment. But he didn’t want to be alone either. He waited for something to happen, listening to the outside noises.

Frank shifted his weight, paused, then in two strides he covered the distance between them and before Matt managed to react properly, grabbed him by the back of his neck, pulled him closer and pressed his mouth to Matt’s. Outside noises died out. Matt pressed his lips together. He wanted to step away, but Frank was holding him firmly. Matt had to push him away, hard, like he meant it. It was like pushing a solid rock. Frank was calm and relentless. Matt had to hit him. Frank blocked the blow, but at least he let go.

“No, Frank!” Matt burst out when he was able to speak. “What the hell is wrong with you?”

Frank didn’t say a word and stepped forward again. Matt wasn’t caught by surprise this time. Still he couldn’t make himself move. Frank grabbed him by the neck with one hand and wrapped the other around his back, pulling him closer to his body. In a brief moment Matt took a note of his breathing, his heartbeat – steady, not giving away any readable signs, only his blood rushing through the veins a little faster. Frank kissed him again. Without passion or real desire. Testing, probing, tasting, asking “Are you messed up as much as I am?” And Matt let him. Carefully he parted his lips, not really inviting, not ready to go with it, but testing, probing, tasting, letting Frank in on a secret of how messed up he really felt at that moment. It was dawning on him that maybe it wasn’t a secret at all to Frank. Maybe he saw through him from the first time they met. “You’re a half-measure,” he had said once. “And I don’t believe your half-hearted attempts to stop me,” he might have added now.

Matt should’ve fought him off. But he was so tired of fighting. The noises, the people, the nightmares – he didn’t want any of that. He didn’t want to fight Frank anymore, didn’t want to argue either. Strong hands holding him firm against a human body emanating warmth might have been the best thing that had happened to him in a week. Frank didn’t seem to be bothered by the thick layer of the Daredevil costume, or by the whole Daredevil thing for that matter. But the memory of gunshots ringing in his ears and the stench of gunpowder coming from Frank’s jacket brought Matt to his senses. He pushed Frank away abruptly, breaking free, breathing the air in deep full breaths.

“No,” he said again harshly. “No, don’t. Don’t do that.”

The third time Frank made it clear he would not ask for permission. Matt found himself being lifted up and thrown hard onto the floor, air knocked out of his lungs. His senses fired up instantly, his body ready to react even before he could breath in properly. But Frank’s full weight landed on top of him.

“Frank! Dammit! Get off me! What the hell are you doing?” Matt protested trying to push him off.

“Sh, sh, sh…” he heard a soothing voice and went rigid.

Matt was trapped between the couch where he had spent so many hours healing up, not able to make those several steps to the bedroom, and the coffee table lying upside down, the evidence of his recent burst of anger. He was pinned down by Frank’s body, solid and warm, his hips on Matt’s hips, his chest on Matt’s chest, his elbows on either side of Matt’s head and his breathing ever so steady near Matt’s ear.

“Look, Red, I think you want this, yeah?” said Frank. “I think you want this… I want this.”

Matt’s heart was betraying him pounding so loudly that there was no way Frank couldn’t hear or feel it. There was anger, guilt, sorrow and a whole lot of confusion, but above all Matt was dazed with the crushing need to capture a little of that confidence Frank was offering. He was suffocating in his own body and he felt grateful when Frank carefully pulled his mask off and threw it aside. Matt kept his eyes open. Let him see. Let him know.

“You’re a shitty lawyer, Red,” Frank chuckled and sunk his teeth into Matt’s throat.

Matt hissed and jerked forward only to be pushed down again by Frank’s hand on his chest. With the other hand Frank grabbed a fistful of Matt’s hair and pulled back to make him expose his neck more. A wave of heat coming from Frank’s body was overwhelming. There it was, the desire, the uncontrollable need to touch, to lick, to claim one’s territory with sharp teeth and wet tongue. Frank wouldn’t care if he left any marks. God knows, there was no lack of marks on Matt’s body! And the horrid truth was that Matt didn’t mind getting new ones. There was no one to tell him “No” anymore. So why should he care?

“Maybe…” he whispered, surprised at his own voice, hoping it didn’t sound like a moan.

Frank pulled away and looked at him. The space he made between them seemed unbearable now.

“Maybe,” Matt repeated, “this time.”

“This time and any time I want, Red,” came the answer.

“Any time I want, Frank,” Matt replied.

His hands that a moment ago were pushing against Frank’s body were now clutching at his jacket. So he pulled him down and kissed him with an open mouth. Frank kissed him hungrily, almost desperately, pushing his tongue deep, rocking his hips into Matt’s. It felt like agony. Frank tugged at the collar of Matt’s jacket trying to find a way in, failed of course.

“How the fuck..?” he cursed under his breath.

Matt used the moment of hesitation, sat up and undid all the zippers and buckles on his jacket himself. Frank helped him pull it off. Then his hands finally got to Matt’s skin. It wasn’t a caress though. Frank dug his fingers into Matt’s sides, catching his upper lip between his teeth. His heart rate finally increased. It pleased Matt. He wanted to give him more.

Frank hastily removed his own jacket and bullet-proof vest. He left a t-shit on and pushed Matt back to the floor. He seemed to like it. And Matt went with it. Maybe it was his punishment after all - to be desired by someone like Frank, by a killer. Earlier today these fingers had held a gun and pulled the trigger. Now they were digging painfully into his skin. And Matt wanted that. He was struggling under Frank just to be pushed harder. He wanted to feel all those muscles tense and know that he was the cause of it. Maybe there was darkness inside him. Maybe it was what he deserved. But why did it feel so sweet this time?

It seemed to work for both of them. It was excruciatingly delightful and maddeningly hot to be handled with such open lust, without excuses or fear of hurting another person. Hurting was the point. 

Frank wasn’t looking for comfort or understanding, least of all forgiveness. He was looking for someone to share his rage with, to take in the pain he was radiating. And Matt could take any amount he could give him. He was hungry for it. He bucked his hips forward and was pleased to feel Frank’s hand dart immediately there to grip hard and press his thumb into the soft space between his bones.

Matt was hurting him with kindness in return. He was deliberately tender with Frank. He knew that as much as he wanted to be drowned in a twirling pool of fire, Frank was longing for warmth and gentleness that never came after the war. Matt stroked his back with flat palms, now and then digging his fingers into Frank’s skin, but not so much, only to show him that he liked what he was doing. Frank took control of his body but didn’t mind Matt’s hands caressing the nape of his neck or brushing through his short hair. Matt was offering him his mouth, his throat, his belly with open consent to be handled as Frank pleased. He knew by the panting and suppressed growling that it drove Frank crazy. The truth was he was going crazy himself. They both were desperate for human contact, but it was the only thing they could do – mess each other up even more. Pain was the only thing they had to share.

Matt writhed and shifted trying to get Frank to touch him where he had a particularly badly bruised rib. And Frank did. A sharp spike of pain jolted through Matt’s body mixing with pleasure he didn’t know he could feel. It left him wanting more. Frank caught up on this little event and it finally drove him to the edge. Frank reached down and pressed his palm to Matt’s groin, testing again. Matt suppressed a moan as best he could. He was hard of course and it didn’t go unnoticed to him that Frank had gotten hard the moment he pushed Matt to the floor. He just wasn’t sure Frank would finish what he started.

Matt was shuddering at every touch while Frank unbuckled and unzipped his pants, pulled them down and placed his palm flat on Matt’s erection. He went quiet for a few torturous moments, held it there for a while, then slowly moved it up Matt’s stomach, his chest, he went along with it, and finally stopped on Matt’s throat.

“Frank…” Matt muttered out of breath.

He didn’t know what he wanted to say with that. Yes, please? Please, don’t? Fuck me, Frank? Let’s stop here and never mention it again? _I want this. This time and every time you want, Frank._

“Roll over,” Frank said.

And Matt would do it, if only his body hadn’t felt so numb without Frank touching it everywhere. Frank helped him, holding him by the shoulders, and settled behind. The pleasant warmth of his body returned. Frank spat on his fingers and pushed them inside Matt. Matt closed his eyes and held his breath. Only to be forced to let out air and then draw in another portion of it. He only prayed he wouldn’t moan. He would take it all but he wasn’t going to take any pleasure in it. He pulled his hands up to his head and was clawing at the carpet, trying to move together with Frank or not to move at all. Then he heard a deep groan and a muffled “Damn you, Red”. He turned his attention to the man behind, who was captivated with desire, barely in control of his own body and sounded absolutely desperate. It was insane but it helped Matt relax. Whatever it was, they both got caught up in it. It went better after that. Soon Frank pulled out and Matt allowed himself a soft hiss. Frank undid his pants, spat on his hand again, rubbed his cock and pushed the tip into Matt’s entrance. He was gasping now, but he didn’t stop. He was thrusting forward, pushing inside Matt, grabbing his shoulders, his hips, groaning and cursing. He was hurting himself now no less than he was hurting Matt. It was perfect. It turned Matt on and there was no way he would be able to pretend it hadn’t happened after. It seemed had been saying “No” to Frank a lifetime ago. He wanted to scream “Yes!” now, but he didn’t. All had been said between them that needed to be said.

“Breathe, you stupid,” he heard Frank’s voice above him and let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

Again and again a wave of fire and pleasure rolled over him. Frank was ferocious, and wild, and so hard inside of him, it felt like being torn apart by a force of nature. His heart was beating like drums in Matt’s ears. He could feel him coming close to the edge even before Frank himself felt it. He thrust once more and then stiffened, and in the heat of the moment he pressed closer to Matt and grazed his teeth over his nape. It sent shivers down Matt’s spine. It was almost tender. But he was not going to give in to that illusion. He knew when the party was over. Aching everywhere he was lying there quietly trying to come to his senses, when strong familiar hands rolled him over on his back and a familiar body covered him, like before. Only this time Frank grabbed his hard cock in his fist and jerked him off, planting kisses on his neck instead of bites. It pushed Matt off the edge very quickly, a jolt of pleasure shooting through him like electricity. He almost missed the sharp pain he felt a moment ago. But he was able to breathe now, in and out, like his was out of the water.

Frank allowed himself a few moments to catch his breath too. Then pushed up sharply, stood up, zipped his pants and picked up his clothes. Matt didn’t move. He knew this was coming. He listened to Frank put on his vest and jacket, then he went to pick up his gun where he had left it and tucked it under his belt. He took a look back, Matt knew he did. Then he went to the door and opened it.

“See you around, Red,” Frank said and closed the door behind him.

Matt sighed deeply. He crawled up onto the couch and curled up there, exhausted and utterly shaken. But before he would pass out, he wanted to taste those words on his tongue. “See you around,” he said to the ceiling and closed his eyes.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm eternally grateful to Kylie! It wouldn't be possible without her encouragement and help! <3


End file.
